Tuesday, May 19, 2009

ladies and headdesking myself for being an emotional idiot

Created this lady in Digital class this morning. It's not for anything, and definitely not for sale, was more of a learning exercise... trying to figure out on the computer how artists like Audrey Kawasaki, Catherine Campbell, and various art deco luminaries made these enigmatic creatures.

So there is mine. Hope you like it.

Feeling a bit low today, then feeling a bit mad at myself for being a loser and letting my emotions get the better of me. I left a message on my Dad's phone early last week, crying in exhaustion that I couldn't go to Melbourne because I have assignments due the week after and had just had a bit of an argument with Mum. Apparently he tried to call me several times but because Ten had my "home" mobile phone as his broke, I never got it. I meant to call him on the weekend, but then everything fell apart with wheat and Ten and I never got around to it. So now, no going to Melbourne to the Flower Drum, no visiting the special Hand Held Gallery that stocks Book Art. No Fitsroy and alleyway awesomeness. All my own stupid fault for being a drama queen I guess.

I guess it and the wheat were sort of a lesson, I have to learn to make sure I'm ok so that everything else doesn't go to shit. I have to get as much sleep as possible and stay healthy as I can. I have to make sure that my plates and knives and scourers are mine only and not contaminated. Will have to become a label nazi. No one else can make Emerald Arts or Tafe work. If I give up on the idea of something (like going to Melbourne) because I think I don't deserve it, then of course no one else will want to go.

Sometimes though, oh man I just wish I could hand the reigns over for just a week or so. Let someone else to the marketing, the media releases... actually maybe I could just swap bodies with someone... then they could do all that stuff and I will take their body to a beach somewhere and spend the whole time drinking beer and eating stuff like hamburgers and corn fritters and ice cream cones :P

Yeah, that would be awesome.


Renee said...

Em you have to be the most careful with your health and that means your mental health too.

What happened. It sounds like it was just a terrible period. You know the terrible points in our life when we feel like shit and losers but those aren't really. We are neither shir or losers.

I have to tell you that I am in love with this picture.

It is beautiful and I think you should frame it.

Love Renee xoxo

p.s. you deserve to go anywhere you want to.

Emerald Arts said...

Oooh yep, I know exactly what you're talking about. So deep when you're in it, so headshakingly unbelieveable when you're not.

I'm glad you like it, feel free to print yourself one too, I'm going to make a few more of them. Been drawing a whole lot of medieval era flowers to scan in.

Thankyou for your lovely words, I can always feel you hugging me when you write them

<3 Emmeline